pot shots

press start / 27.09.2006 9:59 / ~glaurung

Konsoolide sõjas pole olemas võitjaid ega kaotajaid. Olemas on ainult mängud.

Juba üle ühe kuu olen ma olnud rahulik XB360 omanik. Tõsi küll, ma pole sellega suurt midagi veel mängida jõudnud, aga mulle meeldib see konsool piisavalt, et sellega tegeleda ning et seda oma riiulis hoida. Microsoft on suutnud üllitada keskmisest funktsioneerivama toote ning müts maha nende ees. Mitte ainult ei näe XB360 suhteliselt hea välja, talle on ka huvitavaid mänge osta-oodata, peale selle eksisteerib veel ka uuendatud ja ahvatlev XBL (mille ma pärast uue ruuteri ostmist viimaks veatult tööle sain). XB360 on seega tore mänguasi ja kogu see teistele „järgmise põlvkonna” konsoolidele (PS3 ja Wii) ära tegemise jutt ja maailmapilt ei ole minu arvates absoluutselt vajalik. Olen kindel, et siinsete lugejategi seas on neid, kes ostavad endale Wii või PS3, hoolimata sellest, kas neile peale mõne üksiku hea mängu veel midagi esiotsa paista on. See vajab usaldust ja kiindumust ja lojaalsust brändide suhtes.

Kuid nagu ajalugu ja naised on tõestanud, ei ole minul kunagi õigus.

Kuulakem ära üks teine, minust tunduvalt suurem häälekandja. Tutvuge palun sellise paberkandjaga, nagu seda on OXM UK, ehk siis XBOX 360 The Official XBOX Magazine (UK). Elav tõestus selle kohta, kui kõrge on ühe korraliku ajakirjaniku laup. Selle jaoks ei pea isegi 10 aastat küljendamise kogemust olema.

Järgnevalt siis selle sissekande tegelik sisu: vähem ja rohkem säravad väljavõtted eelnimetatud väljaande veergudelt. Aususe mõttes lisan siia ka iga tsitaadi järele selle päritoluks oleva numbri ja lehekülje. Kui kusagil on viidatud millelegi sõnaga ´it´, siis on tõenäoliselt tegemist nimekaimu konsooliga: XBOX 360ga.

  • It’s not £425. It’s £280. Which, thanks to Sony’s blundering PlayStation 3 scheme, suddenly looks amazingly cheap for a kick-arse gaming system. Thanks, Sony! You’ve handed it to Microsoft on a plate this Christmas! You can almost hear the clinking of champagne glasses in Microsoft’s HQ from here. (OXM12, lk 22)
  • Can you imagine playing Halo 3 on Nintendo’s stupid wavy wand thing? Is there anyone left who still favours Sony’s ridiculously wobbly analogue sticks for playing driving games? (OXM12, lk 22)
  • Meanwhile, poor old Sony and Nintendo are hurriedly cobbling together all their-half-finished ideas for a pre-Christmas launch. Bows and arrows against the lightning. (OXM12, lk 22)
  • XBOX 360 has a normal name. Can you picture a 17-year-old pikey parking up his Vauxhall Corsa illegally on the kerb outside GAME, then strolling in asking the shop assistant if he can ´Have a Wii´? That’s just not going to happen. XBOX 360 sounds like a MAN’S console. You can tell people you own one without having to explain what it is. (OXM12, lk 23)
  • The chances of Gears of War appearing on a Nintendo or Sony console are about the same as sexy female aliens launching an invasion of Earth, declaring you king of planet KissyKiss and giving you a freedom pass with no expiry date. (OXM12, lk 23)
  • The chances of Bungie making a version (Halo 3) for a Nintendo or Sony console are about the same as the chances of Cheryl Tweedy appearing out of thin air, handing you a cheque for a million pounds and telling you it’s alright for you to touch her wherever you like, and if you do it well she’ll give you another million pounds. (OXM12, lk 23)
  • PLAYSTATION 3. This will launch with Singstar, which is a game for girls. But girls don’t spend £425 on videogame consoles, do they? So the only people buying PS3 will be men who buy anything that’s new. It’ll sell out, but only because the machine’s too hard for Sony to make more than 50 at one. CHANCES OF SUCCESS: 3/10 (OXM12, lk 23)
  • NINTENDO Wii. Kids will ask for this for Christmas, as will everyone who gets excited about Nintendo. Nintendo will reward this loyalty by releasing one good game a year for the next four years while all the other companies will release poor versions of their XBOX and PlayStation 2 games. CHANCES OF SUCCESS: 4/10 (OXM12, lk 23)
  • Unofficially, this is clearly recognition of the fact that PS3 is unlikely to launch here in significant quantities until well into 2007, thanks to Sony’s problems manufacturing the complex and expensive ´super´ computer. … the poor Sony fans are facing the prospect of laying down £500 to play, er, Warhawk and whatever kind of game Resistance: Fall of Man turns out to be. (OXM12, lk 27)
  • So many of the crucial next-generation games are now coming to both PS3 and XB360 there seems little point in owning Sony’s lumbering machine. Unless, of course, you like the idea of spending nearly 500 quid to play Singstar and Formula One. (OXM12, lk 27)
  • Game Convention Leipzig: You’ll also be able to laugh at how few games PSP has too. (OXM11, lk 44)
  • In keeping the HD-DVD drive optional, Microsoft is demonstrating that XBOX 360 is a games machine primarily – and not some hodge-podge movie-playing thing like PlayStation 3. (OXM11, lk 46)
  • XBOX Live is for us special people, not for you PS3 lot. (OXM10, lk 107)

One Response to “pot shots”

  1. erick Says:

    Masendav… fanboy drivel if I ever saw one :)

    Hea näide sellest, mis saab, kui lasta fanboid ajakirja tegema.